If's & Maybe's
by Gorramit Girl
Summary: A series of unrelated pieces dedicated to exploring the characters of Mal and Inara and the relationship between them.
1. Golden Temple Blue Eyes

**Disclaimer:** Firefly, Serenity, and all related characters are copyright 2002-2005 Mutant Enemy, Inc., Universal Pictures, and 20th Century Fox. This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** She lives in a golden temple; His eyes are blue.

**If's & Maybe's: Golden Temple; Blue Eyes**

***

She lives in a golden temple, it seems.

She is so far up above him and he spends his dreams dreaming of her and trying to find a way to climb up and reach her where she lives in her little tower – far away from the common man. In his dreams he sees princes with hair of onyx and eyes of emerald climb up, up, up her hair and sweep her off of her feet with romance and flowers and sex before placing her back in her tower for the next prince to come along and rescue her for a night.

Bad, wrong-doing, petty criminal pirates like him don't get to climb up that hair and save her from herself. Men like him don't get to romance her and give her flowers or feel her warm beneath them. Men like him get to argue with her and toss insults at her and feel the deep and stinging slash of the cuts they give each other because they don't know better.

Men like him can only sit outside the golden temple where she lives and hope to catch a glance.

Sometimes the glance hurts more than not seeing her at all.

***

His eyes are blue, she notices.

His eyes seem hollow and dark and sometimes lifeless as they take in the 'Verse that surrounds him. Other times they light up and life shines through and he seems to be completely whole.

But that only happens when they argue. It only happens when they both want to make the other hurt as much as possible.

Blue is supposed to be a calming and reflective color…only a man like him could take that kind of a color and turn it into something difficult and harsh. Only a man like him would be so difficult and ornery.

Blue is also how he makes her feel sometimes, when she weeps from his barbs and sits inside her little sanctuary pouring tea to soothe herself because his blue never seems to soothe her. She struggles to keep a hold on herself and keep her head held high and haughty and rise above the blue.

His eyes are blue and he is blue that is harsh and difficult and that's why she almost never wears blue herself…there's enough blue in his life already.

She wishes she could fix the blue in him and teach him other colors.

***

I hope you enjoy! Questions, comments, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!


	2. Serenity Called Her

**Disclaimer:** Firefly, Serenity, and all related characters are copyright 2002-2005 Mutant Enemy, Inc., Universal Pictures, and 20th Century Fox. This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Inara loved _Serenity_ from the first moment she'd seen her.

**If's & Maybe's: Serenity Called Her  
**

***

Seeing _Serenity_ for the first time was like an awakening for her. She loved the ship. She had from the moment she'd first seen it. It was old and comforting, like the embrace of family that she'd never had. It was as if the ship called out to certain people in the 'Verse and said, 'Come to me and I'll keep you safe.'

Inara felt safe on _Serenity_. The gentle thrumming of the engine and the various creaks and groans the ship gave could soothe her mind, take her to a place where she had no worries and peace was all around her.

If Inara gave comfort to her clients, then surely it couldn't compare to the comfort that the ship gave to her. Her clients could leave satisfied and centered and at peace, but Inara could feel the ship centering her even as she worked. Her clients would compliment her on her shuttle and how comforting and relaxing she had made it and Inara would simply smile, knowing that it wasn't her that had done it. It was the ship.

Her shuttle was like a little _Serenity_, a little piece of the ship that was just for her. She treated it like the lady it was, decorating it in rich reds and golds, giving warmth and life to the space that was her sanctuary. The red looked at home in her little shuttle and she knew that _Serenity_ was pleased with her efforts. Her shuttle became a temple, and when no one was around, she'd lock her door before stripping and kneeling on the cold metal floor.

The ship did what no doctor or treatment could have done for her. It soothed the pain that would shoot suddenly through her body when she wasn't careful. It dulled the aches that would torment her joints and leave her lethargic and vulnerable. It drained the weariness and loneliness from her mind, stripping away the migraines that plagued her.

_Serenity_ had called to her, had told her to come aboard so she could keep her safe.

She'd had no choice but to listen. And she'd found a family. She'd found love and safety and warmth. She'd found a release from the degenerative disease that had evaded every treatment that the best doctors in the system had put to her. She'd found peace.

And when she knew that her worst fear was going to pass, she'd surrendered herself to the loving embrace of the ship that she had shed blood for, the ship that had healed her soul. She drifted away, calm and at one with the universe, secure in her knowledge that _Serenity_ would guide her to her final place of peace.

***

I hope you enjoy! Questions, comments, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!


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